OK, OK, I'm BACK.

In case some of you were wondering...I went camping. I've also been working on a HUGE wedding DVD, and I've finally got that all wrapped up. Left to go camping on Friday, and got home yesterday. I wasn't good. I chose to eat while I was away. I was very lucky though. I didn't GAIN weight. I didn't lose, but I didn't gain, and THAT is an accomplishment considering I ate WHATEVER I wanted.

I really wasn't that hungry. Maybe because it was 93 degrees outside, very humid, and just plain HOT, and MISERABLE. Who knows?
Nonetheless, I'm BACK on Cambridge today. Time to finish this race, once and for all. There's no need to keep carrying this weight around.

While I was camping, I was thinking, (and sweating!) and I thought, being overweight is like sitting out here wearing a BIG fur coat. This extra weight is insulating me, and I'm probably the HOTTEST person out here on the river, and not "HOT" in a good way. The heat REALLY makes you miserable when you are overweight. It was scorching hot, and just TRYING to stay cool was near impossible. I don't want to wear this big FAT COAT any longer. I'm ready to take it OFF. You don't wear coats in the summer!
So, here I go again. Cambridge Day 1.

PICTURES

Some of you have contacted me, and said that you couldn't find my pictures. Sorry. I LOVE looking at before, on the way, and after pics myself, so let me try to help.

The FIRST picture (before) is located in the March archives. If you look on the right hand side of the screen, scroll down until it says March 2006. Click on March, and then you'll have to scroll, scroll, scroll down to the very bottom of the page.

To find my picture after the 20 pound loss, once again you'll have to visit the archives. Click on April 2006, and scroll about halfway down the page this time. You'll find a good comparison picture there. Hopefully by the end of May, I'll be posting a smaller one!

Also, someone wanted to know my starting weight. It was 245.5!

24 ugly pounds ago!

Well, it's ONLY one pound, but that's GOOD considering!


I have really been misbehaving, but I'm getting serious now! This is it. Forget the 100 day challenge. I've blown it so many times, I can't remember what day I should actually BE ON. Besides, my cousin called me yesterday, and challenged me to a "4th of July Challenge." We are BOTH trying to lose 25 pounds by the 4th! That will put me BELOW 200 for the first time in YEARS. (Todays weight - 221.5)

So, today starts the BIG challenge. We are going to reward ourselves as soon as we each reach 25 pounds. We are planning to go shopping for a new outfit, and get a pedicure. So, it's time to get busy! This should be a breeze. Just got to stay FOCUSED this time. Hey, I'm only human, NOT superhuman!

Besides, where would I be if I wasn't doing ANYTHING at all to lose weight? I have been goofing off A LOT though. Looking back, I've only lost 1 pound since May 4th! That was 2 weeks ago. TWO wasted weeks! I could have been 10 pounds less, or MORE! OK, not going to think about that. It's pointless now. Just gotta move forward!

Sorry, I've been absent...

I've just been REALLY busy! I'm videotaping a wedding this Saturday, and right now that is taking MOST of my time. The planning, getting all the cameras ready. Getting outside pics of the church, etc. Lot's of stuff to do.

I blew it over the weekend. Might as well be honest. Mother's Day I went out for Mexican, with my family. Shame on me. BUT, I got back on Cambridge Monday, and things are going good! So, you can't gripe about that! I've been really hungry lately, but I think it's because I CHEATED. So, now I'm paying for it! Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that I'm STILL HERE, just busy.

I will TRY to check in a little more frequently.

I'm Still Here...bet you thought I'd jumped ship!

But, I didn't. I'm still here, and still plugging along. I can't say that I've been completely FAITHFUL, but I'm still working on it!

I guess I've been getting bored. Nonetheless, it's time to get BUSY. Time to stop letting GRASS grow! TIME TO MOVE FORWARD. Time to STOP having a little cheat, from time to time. TIME TO DO THIS!

Poor hubby, he meant well, he really did. He brought home a box of "sugar free ice cream." He thought I could have it, since it was fat free, and sugar free. One thing you have to watch, I've noticed a LOT of things that say "fat free," are FULL of CARBS!! 1/2 cup of this stuff had 19 CARBS, and 80 calories! I guess that's better than the alternative stuff, but MY GOSH.

Yes, I did have some. BIG mistake! The next day I was REELING with cravings, for carb laden foods! Just my luck. So, instead of FIGHTING off temptation, I gave in.
BUT, I'm back on the wagon now, strapped in, and hanging on for dear life.

My cousin called yesterday. (the one that had the lap band surgery) She's had it for almost 6 months now, and hasn't dropped an ounce. She went back to get tightened last week, and NOW she says she can FINALLY TELL that she had the surgery. She's FINALLY feeling a little bit full, and has actually lost a few pounds this week. So, I guess she's on her way to slimdom now!

She said, "Well, my surgery worked for YOU!" It was a bit ironic. Considering I lost 24 pounds, and she's the one who had the surgery. I guess I did kinda go into panic mode when she had the surgery. I didn't want to be the last FAT GIRL in the family, so if SHE was going to lose weight, then BY GEORGE, I was too! So, yes...her surgery DID help me!

My husbands Grandma will be here in 10 days. She's a skinny woman, and I can tell that she thinks.."My, my haven't you let yourself go?" In fact I KNOW she thinks that, because she was telling me about her daughter-in-law who has gained about 80 pounds, and she said, "She has really gained a lot of weight." "She's just let herself go!" Well, I KNOW she's not blind, so obviously she thinks that I not only "let myself go", but apparently CHASED MYSELF AWAY!

So, I'd be really happy if I could drop another 10 pounds before she get's here. She will be here for 2 weeks. Maybe I could even lose another 8-10 pounds while she's here. Then she might think I was "bringing myself back!"

I know you've got people around you that have made you feel like that. It's a classic scenario. There will always be people around us that think, we are just fat, and lazy slobs who just don't CARE. Little do they know that if we had a metabolism like an EL train, we could be just as skinny as them, and achieve it just as effortlessly.

However, their theory of us being lazy, is quite the opposite. In fact we have to work 5 times as hard as they do, to HAVE the figure we long for. So, in the long run, if we are doing something about our weight, WE ARE BETTER THAN THEM. WE ARE STRONGER THAN THEM, and THEY are the lazy slobs! Don't let ANYONE look down their nose at you, no MATTER WHAT YOU WEIGH. They have no idea what your circumstances are.

Make It A Habit...

Well, I'm back from camping, and I did manage to write while I was away. Just some thoughts, but I put them on paper, and thought I'd share them with you...

Habit...
I once heard that it only takes 11 days to make or break a habit. I don't know how they came up with that number or why, but I do know that you can easily develop a habit in about 2 weeks. When I started Cambridge this time, I made up my mind, that THIS was how my life was going to be until I lost all the weight I wanted to lose.

I didn't start with the "intention" to create a habit, but somewhere along the way, it happened! I really didn't even realize it had become a habit until I went on that Ladies Retreat. While I was there, it just felt strange. I enjoyed the food, but there was a nagging sensation inside me, that made me feel uneasy.

I was breaking habit. My daily routine that I had been following for 42 days was ALL MESSED UP. I actually missed the routine! WHAT? I really did. I knew that when I got back to my scales, it was not going to be pretty.

When I was in "my routine" I looked forward to weighing myself every morning. I knew that as long as I was following "routine," I was going to see the numbers drop, or at very least, stay the same.

Going back to my "old" bad habits, and unhealthy way of eating (even though it was just TEMPORARY), was letting in a definite uncertainty. Who knew what that scale was going to say? Odds were it was NOT going to be something to look forward to.

There's still the occassional urge to binge, and of course it's going to rear it's ugly head from time to time. After all, that habit was 13 years in the making, so it's bound to resurface on occasion. The thing is...it's no longer a habit, or the "routine."

It's an old habit that died hard, but it has been replaced by a healthier habit. One that will bring a smile to my face when I get on the scales, knowing that today, I did EVERYTHING I COULD, to lose or maintain my weight. That is my NEW habit. I don't think this diet would be nearly as easy, or even possible if it wasn't a habit.

So think about it. What can YOU do for 11 days? Can you change ANYTHING for about 2 weeks? It can become a habit, and it can change the REST of your life...for the better!


By the way.....
I stayed on my diet ALL weekend while camping. Didn't cheat ONCE! Aren't you proud?

Leaving to go Camping!


I might have been able to shave off one more pound, if I had been here to weigh in tomorrow, but OH Well. We are leaving to go camping tonight, and I'm happy. I've packed all my Cambridge, so I'm all set to SS all through the camping trip. I did it LAST time. I can do it THIS time. Besides, when I get home, I'll probably have gotten below 220! Whoo hoo!

Gotta get back to packing up the camper. Just wanted to let you know that I'm progressing. I would have been a little farther along if I hadn't decided to eat last weekend, but that's water under the bridge now. I've undone the damage and lost a pound to boot. I must say that's better than MOST of my former weigh-ins at Weight Watchers! Have a great weekend! See ya Monday.

What IS it about those CROCS?

Tell me, are they as popular where you live, as they are HERE? You know, they are the funny RUBBER looking shoes with holes all in the top, and sides. The FIRST time I saw my cousin wearing a pair, I thought she had LOST it. They are about the UGLIEST shoe you could EVER purchase. She told me they were amazing, and felt like HEAVEN on her feet. So, I ventured out and bought a pair. Call it peer pressure, or call it the need to BUY shoes, just because I'm a WOMAN...who knows?

WOW! That's all I can say. Now I have the SAME obsession with them that EVERYONE else has! THEY are WONDERFUL. If you haven't tried them YET....YOU SHOULD. They truly are amazing!

Now, if you don't want to spend THAT much on a pair of rubbery looking shoes, you can also get fake Crocs at Pay Less Shoe Source. They are about 14.95 there, and I can't tell a whole lot of difference. The real ones have the Crocodile on the side, but Pay Less did a darn good job of faking that too! Their version is called the Airwalk, and as of today, I own 3 pairs of them!
Told you I was obsessed. Even both of my daughters have a pair, and my 3 year old thinks they are the GREATEST thing in the WORLD!

I started out with the clog looking one that you see everyone wearing. They felt SO good. Then today the lady in Pay Less said, "You really should try these, and points to a cute little rubber looking pair of Airwalk thongs!" I said, "I can't wear thongs, on my FEET, or on my butt...both for the same reason!"

But, then curiosity got to me. I've never liked anything between my toes, when it comes to shoes. Then I slipped these babies on! Once again....HEAVEN! So, now I own a pair of thongs. (also known as Crocs Athens line) For my feet ONLY, thank you! I'm still working on getting my butt small enough for the other kind! Then again, I don't know if I'll EVER be ready for that!

If you still don't know what I'm talking about, you can see them here! www.crocs.com
You gotta love them, or hate them!

"VISUAL AIDS" for MOTIVATION

I'm not talking about putting up pictures all over the house of yourself...but you can if you want. There are a few things you can do to help you along the way. For one thing, I must recommend Michael Marder's Weight Commander. It is a GREAT tool for "seeing" your weight loss, and it also predicts your FUTURE losses based on the rate you are losing now. Pretty cool, huh? It has an interactive diary, and a chart to log your measurements. I enjoy putting in my weight each day, and seeing what it has to say. You can try it free for 5 days, and if you decide you like it, just send him an e-mail, and he will send you the code to unlock it forever. It only costs $9.95, and he requests that you mail him a check. He will send YOU the stamped addressed envelope, so you don't even pay POSTAGE. What a DEAL. You can find it at www.weightcommander.com

If that's not your thing, and you want some FREE visual aids, try this...you can make a paper clip chain, and add a paper clip for every pound you lose. (I like the big color coated ones) I had put 14 on my chain, and then forgot about it for a few days. It was fun to add 6 paper clips. It really showed me how FAST the weight is really falling off. Plus just KNOWING that each link on that chain represents a pound LOST is pretty cool, especially when I look up and see how LONG it is.

If you don't have paper clips, you can make a paper chain. Remember how you made those in elementary school? Same concept. OR, you could go backwards too. Say if you want to lose 50 pounds, make 50 links, and take one OFF for every pound you lose. I personally like seeing them add up myself, and if I GAIN, I know I have to take a link OFF, and I DON'T want to do that!

Get creative, there are LOT's of things you can do to help you stay motivated along the way. The thing is, if you want it to be YOUR secret it can be. Nobody in the office is REALLY going to know what that paper clip chain is all about, unless you WANT them to. Got an interesting idea? Send me an e-mail and let me know. I will post everyone's "ideas" and your name, and we'll see who comes up with the most unique idea! Come on send in those suggestions to sparks2n2@yahoo.com
Or post an idea in the comments section, but be sure to post your name, so we'll know who get's the credit.
Come on get creative!

What I found out about myself while I was gone...

Ready for it? This is what I learned about "ME" while I was gone on this weekends Ladies Retreat.
I AM SO NOT "SUPERWOMAN!"

Ok, there are MANY things that I CAN resist gracefully. There are SOME things that take a little more self control, and there are SOME THINGS that can make me fall down on my face like a blubbering IDIOT. Chocolate at MIDNIGHT is ONE of these things!

Yep, you read that right...not just chocolate, but 2 GORGEOUS CHOCOLATE FOUNTAINS...That's right! Chocolate Fountains! Who would have THOUGHT I would have encountered SUCH a thing on a Ladies Retreat?

There were over 500 ladies at this thing, so the first meal was served to us, and it consisted of bar-b-qued pork, baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad, corn on the cobb, rolls, and apple cobbler. SO, of course I had to eat what was served to me...even though it WAS FULL OF CARBS, and I knew it meant imminent destruction to my diet for the rest of the weekend. However, I CHOSE to eat this weekend, right? Yes, and I was going to enjoy myself.

Well, we met at 7:00 for the services. At 9:30 it was still going strong, and I was exhausted. At 11:30 it was finally over, and they told us to go back to the cafeteria, and we would have refreshments before bed. So, I get in line with the rest of the ladies, at MIDNIGHT. What I saw next nearly made my knees buckle! A huge table with Hawaiian bread, and spinach dip, broccolli, little smoked sausages, angel food cake with sweetened stawberries, and Cool whip, and a GORGEOUS bowl of punch. I grabbed a few pieces of broccolli, and a little dip, and thought I'd be OK. Then I saw it...I couldn't believe my eyes. A HUGE table with two of the most lovely 3 tiered fountains, pouring with CHOCOLATE, and a HUGE platter of the most BEAUTIFUL BIG JUICY STRAWBERRIES you have ever seen.

I'll sum it all up right here....I WAS BAD.
It was one eating adventure after another, the whole time and very few options for healthy choices! I guess the purpose of these things are to get away, and ENJOY yourself, and I DID. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I was VERY afraid to get on the scales this morning. Well, I gained 4 pounds. Yep 4.
I'm not TOO upset because with all the sodium I consumed, I'm sure a lot of it is water, but NONETHELESS....it's TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK!

So, today is like Day 1 SS for me. I'm drinking my Crystal Light, and having my soup, and wondering....WAS that chocolate REALLY worth it? And you know what...
This time I have to say YES IT WAS. You cannot be perfect ALL the time, but you DO have to get RIGHT back on the wagon. You can't just keep endulging in things that are meant to be enjoyed ONLY on special occassions.

I have been living my WHOLE life like everyday is a special occassion, and yes, everyday that we have here on earth IS a celebration, but you don't have to EAT like it's one. There are SO many more ways to celebrate without FOOD. For instance, just painting your nails can lift your mood. Tanning in a tanning bed for a few minutes does WONDERS for your mood. Not only does it make you TAN, but the "fake Sunlight" produces endorphins, and THAT makes you feel good. If that's not your thing, spread on a fake tan....sun in a bottle!

Paint your toenails, or treat yourself to a nice hot bubble bath, and do a face mask. There are SO many ways, we women can TREAT ourselves, and food does not have to have ONE little thing to do with it. So, remember...you are NOT superhuman. There are EVENTS that call for celebrating with food. BUT, everyday is NOT a celebration of food, and every morsel of "bad choices" comes with it's own set of consequences. It may not be 4 pounds of consequences, but it can be sabotage for your willpower, or your diet, if you don't keep the right mindset.

If you think you can handle the diversion, go for it, but STOP IT, as soon as the celebration ends. EVERY DAY IS NOT A CELEBRATION OF FOOD!